Nude Colored Clothing

February 12, 2017

On the hiking trails of Los Angeles, you see all sorts of people, ranging from middle aged athletes in designer workout gear, to overweight teenagers in tanktops and cut-off jeans. The physical nature of hiking trails typically means that you’ll either walk behind these folks for a couple of miles, or catch a glimpse of them as they pass in the other direction.

This weekend, I came up behind a woman who appeared to have large antique text tattooed on her legs.

A second later, I recognized that the text was from a old fashioned ouija board. How creative.  How daring.

Another second after that, I realized that the woman was wearing nude colored leggings with text printed on them.  How horrible.

Never mind that the women wearing the skin-tight ouija pants should never wear skin-tight clothes in public.  But why was she even given an opportunity to wear skin-tight clothing that looked so horrible?

There are only two legitimate uses for nude-colored clothing.  One would be on stage or screen, where there was an attempt to make a performer appear naked when they are not. A ballerina performing a dance where naturism is an added dimension, would be a perfect example. The other scenario would be when a non-performer needs a little more clothing, for warmth or modesty, without distracting from the rest of their outfit’s aesthetic. Perhaps, a fashionable consumer who wants to wear a short-sleeved top in winter.

Under no circumstance should nude-colored clothing be the focal point of your attention, as it was when I encountered the stranger who I thought might be hiking bottomless. A person should never be giving other people the impression that they may be naked in public but aren’t. Clothing should not be confusing.

So why does this article of clothing even exist? Should the designer, or the designer’s superiors, have even allowed customers to buy and wear such a horrible product?

Creative professionals often work with people who are not aesthetically gifted, or who don’t have a strong sense of taste. And often we are put in a position where we must walk a tightrope between giving our bosses or our clients whatever they request, and politely informing them that their ideas are crap. Certainly there are situations where a bad design choice needs to be shot down, no matter who has made, or endorsed, that design.

Nude colored fashions are one of those horrible, ungodly design choices, and they need to not exist. We must prevent the unfashionable among us from having an opportunity to wear such unsightly clothing, and we must do so with extreme prejudice.