Room for Cream

March 21, 2017

I drink my coffee black.  Almost exclusively.  The only time I add cream is when the coffee tastes bad, but I still need caffeine.

Today, at my girlfriend’s request, I ordered an “iced cinnamon coffee” at a particular pastry shop.  The server asked if I needed “room for creme.”  Since my girlfriend also takes her coffee black, I said no.

The beverage we received was closer in color to creme than it was to coffee.  Apparently, at this establishment, iced cinnamon coffee consists of ice, cinamon, coffee, and a large portion of milk.

Then why was I asked if I needed room for creme?  Has anybody ever ordered a milk-based coffee drink (such as a latte) and added milk on top?

With the added milk (presumably an articially flavored cinnamon creamer) our beverage was too sweet for our tastes.  I suggested that we add more coffee to balance it out.

We went through the McDonald’s drive-through (my first time in years) and ordered a small iced coffee.

We don’t serve that anymore.

You don’t have iced coffee? [The sign listed at least 6 or 7 coffee beverages, including iced coffee.]

We don’t serve that size anymore.

Give me the smallest size of iced coffee you have.

He rang me up for a medium iced coffee.  Even though “medium” means between two extremes (i.e. small and large), at McDonald’s, the sizes start at medium. Medium, large, amd larger are the sizes. And their speakers go up to 11.

A few moments later, we were served our iced coffee.  Again we received a beverage that obviously contained milk.  

Where was I when the word “coffee” came to mean “coffee and milk?”  At what point did we allow the language to be contorted to mean something other than its literal meaning?

If I wanted a cup that only contained coffee and ice, was I supposed to request that they hold the milk?  Was I supposed to order a cup of coffee with some ice on the side?
If I order a hamburger would it automatically come with cheese on it?  If I order a pizza, will I get crust, tomato sauce and cheese?  Or should I expect the kitchen staff will throw on some random ingredients that aren’t on the menu.

Give me what I ordered.  Or warn me in advance that your menu doesn’t mean what it says.